Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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