Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm home, then i'll come over

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa

  (514): View more from Quebec

  nvm.

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  (514): i'm home, then i'll come over (1-514): ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa (514): nvm. http://tfl.nu/kqkd
  Replies (40) Good night (1202) Bad night (3339)
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  (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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  (650): I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese http://tfl.nu/0g2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3333) Bad night (713)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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  (314): I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light. http://tfl.nu/psre
  Replies (19) Good night (3897) Bad night (1046)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.

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  (401): I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs. http://tfl.nu/di07
  Replies (8) Good night (3723) Bad night (1532)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden

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  (617): Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden http://tfl.nu/88jg
  Replies (7) Good night (3961) Bad night (949)
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  (716): View more from New York

  do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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  (716): do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth http://tfl.nu/ncht
  Replies (13) Good night (1305) Bad night (3308)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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  (209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8
  Replies (23) Good night (965) Bad night (3240)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.

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  (919): I have a cut on my head from a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/wa5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1538) Bad night (609)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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  (602): If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for. http://tfl.nu/540a
  Replies (17) Good night (1794) Bad night (525)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?

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  (509): Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills? http://tfl.nu/9geb
  Replies (5) Good night (1301) Bad night (586)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.

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  (443): He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever. http://tfl.nu/42ep
  Replies (5) Good night (492) Bad night (1728)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.

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  (205): Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/igo8
  Replies (6) Good night (2571) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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  (717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo
  Replies (6) Good night (1548) Bad night (569)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?

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  (616): my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun? http://tfl.nu/vevn
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (749)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know.

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  (815): Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it. (312): I don't even want to know. http://tfl.nu/t388
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (730)

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