Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.

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  (843): if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume. http://tfl.nu/blds
  Replies (47) Good night (3711) Bad night (721)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being

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  (440): You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being http://tfl.nu/lse1
  Replies (39) Good night (1706) Bad night (3934)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval

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  (919): Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval http://tfl.nu/opwb
  Replies (7) Good night (7077) Bad night (730)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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  (401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4
  Replies (38) Good night (5876) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.

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  (770): I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex. http://tfl.nu/726q
  Replies (11) Good night (4846) Bad night (835)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.

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  (816): He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/ljav
  Replies (5) Good night (2443) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.

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  (517): Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call. http://tfl.nu/hx3q
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (2958)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed

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  (610): If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/z6o3
  Replies (5) Good night (1289) Bad night (958)
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  (310): View more from California

  True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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  (310): True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant? http://tfl.nu/aiag
  Replies (6) Good night (1062) Bad night (1649)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.

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  (434): My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jrhb
  Replies (8) Good night (1184) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better

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  (816): sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better http://tfl.nu/09bw
  Replies (4) Good night (328) Bad night (819)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him

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  (904): He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him http://tfl.nu/dcu2
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!

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  (573): Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica! http://tfl.nu/ntrd
  Replies (1) Good night (1015) Bad night (270)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!

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  (513): I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry! http://tfl.nu/10qk
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.

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  (307): I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex. http://tfl.nu/b6dd
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (205)

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