Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Why did I cab home last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Why did I cab home last night? (1-310): Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker. http://tfl.nu/2rna
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I? http://tfl.nu/azfj
  Replies (10) Good night (596) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey http://tfl.nu/i09e
  Replies (16) Good night (1028) Bad night (2291)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh
  Replies (23) Good night (1920) Bad night (5298)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza. http://tfl.nu/j0sn
  Replies (5) Good night (3815) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday http://tfl.nu/a582
  Replies (2) Good night (2574) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life. http://tfl.nu/34re
  Replies (12) Good night (3588) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity. http://tfl.nu/otkw
  Replies (5) Good night (1275) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid. http://tfl.nu/egf9
  Replies (7) Good night (2094) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Make one for john too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake. (1-310): Make one for john too. http://tfl.nu/lihh
  Replies (3) Good night (1257) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

  (347): View more from New York

  I can't even drink.

  (646): View more from New York

  The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1860) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..." http://tfl.nu/k8r7
  Replies (15) Good night (744) Bad night (2286)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it http://tfl.nu/u9hv
  Replies (2) Good night (231) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism. http://tfl.nu/xlca
  Replies (3) Good night (421) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early (401): You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him? http://tfl.nu/zkzj
  Replies (4) Good night (2415) Bad night (213)

Randomize