I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"