My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What changed your mind?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.