took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
