just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
