He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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