i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Drunk is a universal language darling
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