Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
