And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
