Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
