I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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