god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
