Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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