she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
wow bdsm is so cute
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize