You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
