new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He felt like a one man threesome
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
