The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize