Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
