I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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