i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
