Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
