This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
