did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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