So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
