Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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