okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize