can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
