hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
