Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
