I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
