absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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