4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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