his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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