Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
