they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
