she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
