A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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