at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
