I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
