Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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