he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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