I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize