There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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