I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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