chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty