9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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