Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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