is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
