textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
