i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
