Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
