Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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