Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
