idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
