So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
