i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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