she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
