I could make wine with my vomit
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
