Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
