Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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