When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
