By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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