Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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