he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
