I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i drank out of a bidet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
