Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
