the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
