I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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