Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
