i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
