my mouth tastes like poor choices
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
